Cellphones Suck

         There are so many reasons cellphones suck. In fact, many people did not have cellphones 900 years ago. I know, it's unbelievable. Like, how could they live like that? Were they some kind of savage barbarians?

         So now, back to my reasons. You are always forgetting where you last put your cellphone. This happens so often that you probably waste 90% of your life looking for your cellphone. Plus, cellphones keep getting smaller and therefore, harder to find. A brick phone is much easier to find than a stupid Razor or something stupidly small phone like that.
         Phones are constantly dropping, breaking and getting wet. I think I voided the warranty on my phone battery because I heard about that red "x" thing that turns into something different via magical means and so I decided to put it to the test and licked the battery of my phone. Surely enough, the red x's changed into red blotchy blobs.
         Phones are stupidly expensive. I refuse to pay $200 dollars for a phone that can break easier than my laptop and do half of what it can do, slower. I have no problem with people that do, and you can argue with me all you want, but I'm pretty stubborn on that.
        Phones are being updated so often that once you get a phone, within a month, something better comes out. Like the Droid. That's a seriously cool phone. But, what about the Droid X, Droid Incredible and so on. The Envy (or whatever it's called) was orginally pretty cool but then the Voyager, Envy 2, Envy Touch, and Envy 3 came out and now the Envy and Envy 2 are seriously outdated phones.
       Phones give off radiation, and therefore give you cancer. But what dosen't? I know.
      Phones are irritating. They go off in church, movies, and when you don't want to talk to someone you press "ignore" and then they know that either you are unable to talk or you a demon for ignoring their call. You're trying to talk to a friend but they're texting or you are in an situation where you have nothing to do so you check your phone every 30 seconds. Their batteries last 3 seconds in the cold. They have the worst default ringtones. Their games suck. You never have reception in an area that you really need it (I've gone on two vacations where we were totally isolated from any cellphone towers: West Virginia and Michigan). And people prank call you. This dosen't really affect me because if I don't have the number programmed into my phone or it's restricted then I don't answer. And speaking of prank callers, you guys are really rude. I was once eating lunch with my grandma and someone kept trying to prank call me. Do you realize how inconsiderate that is? And they would call over and over and over again.
        Cellphones - go to hell.